FINE ARTS…
BUT AT WHAT COST?
THE FIGHT FOR AN
EVEN BIGGER SCOREBOARD

The Megaboard Project™: Because Size Does Matter

The Highland Park community has once again found itself divided; this time over a proposed district initiative known unofficially as The Megaboard Project™, a plan to replace the already massive football stadium scoreboard with a new model rumored to be visible from space.

The question at the center of the controversy:

Do students really need paintbrushes when the current scoreboard is practically shrinking before our eyes?

The Scoreboard War Begins

“At some point we must ask ourselves,” said HP dad Todd Wexler, “how can our boys compete if visiting teams can't see the score in ultra-HD 12K resolution? It's humiliating.”

Wexler later admitted he has not attended a full game since 2017 but insists “the principle matters.”

Meanwhile, art students continue practicing in rooms described by one band member as “somewhere between a closet and a panic room.” A cellist reported that their music stand is held together with duct tape and “three generations of hope.”

The Proposed New Scoreboard Features

Parents advocating for the upgrade have released a wishlist, including:

• A 360-degree rotating display “as God intended”
• A built-in smoothie bar for halftime hydration
• Live TikTok-style filters for players and cheerleaders
• Real-time stock updates “for parents who trade during games”
• A memorial flame dedicated to “every pass that should have been a touchdown”

One booster club member insisted the screen must be “at least aquarium-sized,” then declined to clarify what that meant.

The Arts Push Back

Fine arts families argue the money should not go toward “a screen larger than the entryway at NorthPark Mall” and have proposed alternative investments such as:

• Instruments that aren't older than some of the grandparents
• Theater lighting that doesn't actively buzz and flicker
• Art supplies purchased sometime after 2009
• Costumes not made entirely from unclaimed Lost & Found items

Choir director Ms. Hudgens also noted she would appreciate if the auditorium AC could be repaired before it becomes “a sauna of musical suffering.”

School Board Meeting Goes Sideways

The debate reached a boiling point at this week's school board meeting, where:

• A football dad wore a shirt reading “GO BIG OR DON'T GO TO COLLEGE”
• A band mom countered with “MICHELANGELO DIDN'T NEED A JUMBOTRON”
• A theater kid performed a dramatic monologue about institutional neglect
• Someone unveiled a scale model of the proposed scoreboard made entirely of Lululemon bags

The meeting ended abruptly when the model fell over and crushed a trustee's Hydro Flask.

Financial Questions

Early estimates suggest the new scoreboard would cost:

More than the entire fine arts budget… and also more than the next three fine arts budgets.

A district spokesperson clarified that while the number is “sizable,” it's “nothing a few spirited fundraisers and three hundred thousand yard signs can't fix.”

Students Weigh In

Band students protested outside with hand-painted signs that read:

• “ART IS IMPORTANT TOO”
• “WE EXIST!”
• “WE STILL DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CHAIRS”

Meanwhile, football players were reportedly neutral. One lineman commented:

“I mean… bigger is cool. But also, can the art kids get chairs? Chairs seem basic.”

So… What's Next?

The school board is expected to vote next month. Until then, parents will continue arguing over whether:

• Artistic expression should be nurtured
• Students deserve equitable support
• Or if a 200-foot scoreboard that can broadcast the game onto nearby houses is the true heartbeat of education

For now, one thing is clear:

In Highland Park, the arts matter, just not as much as looks, money or an LEDs the size of God.