HP CONCERT SERIES

COMMUNITY CALENDAR

SOBER
HIGH-LAND PARK
420 DAY

DATE APR 20 (OF COURSE)
THEME “HIGH ON LIFE, LOW ON CRUMBS IN THE CAR”
VENUE Methodist Church Parking Lot
plus overflow at Whole Foods
DRESS CODE Pastels, Athleisure, No Tie-Dye

A completely substance-free 420 celebration curated by people who still call weed “dope.”

No actual laws are being broken. The rebellious part is the start time: 4:20 PM sharp.

“Contact High” From Kombucha Samples Only

In an effort to stay “relevant to the youth” without actually accommodating any youth behavior, Highland Park has launched its first annual Sober HIGH-land Park 420 Day Celebration.

Programming Highlights

Instead of smoke clouds, attendees can enjoy:

  • A guided mindfulness walk where residents silently judge each other’s landscaping.
  • A CBD-free yoga class titled Warrior II But Make It Methodist.
  • Mocktail demos with ingredients like “artisanal cucumber” and “responsibility.”

A local cover band will perform acoustic renditions of songs from Dazed and Confused with all drug references swapped for “study group.”

Parent Advisory Board Approved

Organizers stress that the event is designed so teens “can experience 420 without any of the 420,” a sentence that somehow passed committee.

Volunteers will patrol the perimeter, sniffing for trouble and confiscating suspicious snacks. All brownies must be store-bought and labeled.

Frequently Asked (and Texted) Questions

Is this making fun of recovery?

No. Recovery is important. This event gently roasts the way affluent communities try to co-opt “edgy” culture while sanding off every rough edge.

Can I bring actual weed?

You can, technically. But five different dads named Brad will stare at you until you spiritually evaporate.

Will there be live music?

Yes. An acoustic trio will perform songs about making good choices, driving under the speed limit, and remembering to Venmo the babysitter.